The Wrong Side of my Car

The blog that wants to go obsolete

23 Sept 2018

Learning how to ride a bicycle in an apartment.

What is it about kids and suburbs? Why do you have to move out of the city centre once you get those little ones?

Many theories exist. Maybe people just don’t get it. That is a popular theory amongst urbanists. And if you’re arrogant enough to actually believe that, what about you go do some proverbial stuff with yourself.

So let’s try another approach. Some empathy. A popular opinion amongst the same urbanists is that riding a bicycle is awesome. So how will that work out with kids?

Riding a bicycle

So let's make up a little litmus test: can you find a spot where the kids can learn to ride a bicycle?

I really enjoyed riding my bicycle as a kid. What kind of urbanist would I be if I can’t share that joy with my kids? It is not rocket science:

  1. It should be safe. Duh.

  2. It should be close by. There’s a reason why people who are learning to play the violin keep a violin in their own house. If you have to ‘go out’ to practice, there won’t be much practice. *1

In suburbs this space is traditionally the backyard. It doesn’t have to be. Maybe the street or driveway in front of your house is safe enough. Many suburban streets are quiet enough. If you’re lucky there’s a verge between the footpath and the roadway. This is usually an easy problem.

Let's apply this to living in an apartment in Victoria Quarter. Assume you don't have whatever obscene amount of money it takes to buy an apartment in Wynyard Quarter. *2

Well, there is some space between the buildings…

Space besides an apartment
Space besides the church
More open space
A little open space between a few businesses

Ugh. Seriously? What about the streets?

Hobson Street

A few miserable little parking lots and huge roadways. 5 lanes, 6 lanes. That’s it. Or maybe to the park nearby?

That’s Myers park. *3

Close but no cigar, see point B above. If your apartment backs onto that park, that kind of solves it. Unfortunately, from many apartments you have to navigate landscapes like this to get to a park.

Mayoral Drive

Crap. They don’t happen to make modern toddlers run-off proof, do they?

In my case, it would be a pretty hard feat to pull off. Hell, even teaching a kid to walk would be challenging in my little apartment.

Fail

That was not a success. Not even close. And this is a problem which in suburbs is completely trivial. Is it any surprise that there’s such a visceral reaction against high-density living? OMG, will nobody think of the children?!

The solution for families is obvious — don’t live in Victoria Quarter. Unfortunately this area is highly visible to a lot of commuters, and this will linger like poisonous cloud over any debate about zoning and density.


(*1) 

For those who don’t remember how this works: even after a kid figures out how to ride, for quite a while he’ll still lose his balance every so often. Think about the consequences of that on the street. Meeting the bottom side of a car is not an appropriate punishment.

(*2) 

Many of these apartments rent for well over $1000 per week. For 70% of people in Auckland that would be more than your entire income.

(*3) 

You probably spotted the apartments in the background. Surprisingly, rents here are comparable to Victoria Quarter. Not only do you get a park and a playground nearby, but also much better access to public transport. If you have kids this is a no-brainer. A downside is that you are pretty far from any schools.

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